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Pearl: "Stan! Stan! Look! What the fuck is that?"
Stan: "Oh my god dear. It looks like some kind of spaceship."
Pearl: "Lets get the bleedin ell out of here. I don't like the look of this."
Stan: "Hang on a minute love,something's coming out of it."
Steve: "Sorry,didn't mean to startle you.I'm Steve I've just travelled back in time from 2009."
Pearl: "From where???"
Steve: "The future,2009."
Pearl: "2009?? Oh piss awf you're away with the fairies boy.Get back in your rocket thingy."
Steve: "No honest,I'm from the English Defence League."
Stan: "Now listen here sunshine I'm not sure why you're here or what your game is,but what's all this 2009 and English Fencing League nonsense about?"
Steve: "We're called the English Defence League and we're against Shariah Law."
Stan: "Whose law?"
Steve: "Shariah Law."
Pearl: "Who the hell is Sharia?"
Steve: "It's a law that some Muslims and the UAF want for Britain."
Pearl: "What's a Muslim?"
Steve: "You know,the people who pray in Mosques."
Pearl: "What's one a them then?"
Steve: "It's like a church but it's for Muslims."
Stan: "That's those things in Arabia."
Steve: "Yeah that's the one.There's quite a lot of them in London now."
Pearl: "Oh do me a favour son,you're 'avin a tin bath."
Stan: "Whats You A Eff?"
Steve: "Its UAF.They want Shariah Law too."
Stan: "Are they Arabians then?"
Steve: "Some are,most aren't"
Stan: "So tell us,why do these Arabians and this 'U' 'A' 'F' want this funny law thing then?"
Steve: "We don't know.No one else wants it."
Pearl: "I've seen and heard some utter shit in me time lad,but you can 'arf reel em off."
Steve: "No,it's true.These people don't like Britain and our laws."
Pearl: "Why the bleedin ell they in Britain then?"
Steve: "Good question,no idea."
Pearl: "Never 'eard such a load of fuckin' ol toffee in me life"
Stan: "You been on the sick lad?"
Steve: "It's true.It's happening in 2009."
Pearl: "What's them things on your feet boy?"
Steve: "They're trainers.Adidas"
Stan: "Look like you're training for the Olympics lad."
Pearl: "Ah ha ha.Good un Stan.Come on,lets go home home.This lad's out the funny farm"
Steve: "I swear everything I told you is true.Warn everyone to keep the Labour Party out."
Stan: "OK lad,you have a nice time in your spaceship now."
Pearl: "Ta da Walter Mitty"
Steve: "Bye.Warn everyone"
Stan: "Yes,yes lad.Course we will.
Pearl: "Arabians? Sheryl's Law? In our country? Who'd he think we were eh?"
Stan: "Thought we was born yesterday love."
Pearl: "Gotta get up early to catch us out eh Stan.Silly bastard"
Stan: "Yes love."
Pearl: "Bread n drippin tonight?"
Stan: "Smashin love."
Pearl: "Gawd me bastard back's playin up sumfin rotten..." |